My struggle with envy


Hey there, long time, no talk.

It's been nearly two months since we sent a newsletter and almost six months since we released a podcast or YouTube video. We've been knee-deep in building renovations (Yup, still.), figuring out life in Knoxville, supporting our coaching clients, and planning for 2023.

And for a multitude of reasons, the transition has been harder and taken longer than we expected.

Thus, the long silence.

Throughout this season, I've found myself being envious of others. Whether it's their stuff, time, friendships, health, or even just that their house is perfectly decorated for Christmas.

And aside from the fact envy leads to bitterness and a foul mood, it's also terrible for the budget - trying to make me keep up with the Joneses!

It's ridiculous really. By any objective measure, my life is amazing and I shouldn't be envious of anything. And yet, here we are.

A lot of my envy comes from what I'm consuming - what I'm filling my mind with.

Am I remembering all of the good things I have, and the amazing ways God has blessed me? Am I regularly reflecting on who God is and expressing gratitude and awe? Or, am I scrolling social media, looking at all my friend's perfect family Christmas photos and feeling envious?

Unfortunately, for me, it's been mostly the latter this year.

But every now and again, even social medial can present something that snaps you out of it. Like this video did for me:

Charlie Munger shares how despite being 5x better off today than our ancestors, people are less happy.

So what am I doing about my own envy?

1) Reminding myself what the Bible has to say

When I'm working, I need to assess if I'm striving after money the way Solomon describes in Ecclesiastes 4:4.

"Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man's envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind."

Instead, I need to do my work "heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward" - Colossians 3:23-24.

And if there was any doubt to how detrimental envy can be, Solomon also had this to say in Proverbs 14:30

"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."

2) Setting up memorials for God's goodness and provision

This is something Hanna and I have discussed on and off but haven't taken action on.

The thing is - we've been blessed in so many ways that we often forget them. I want to be like Joshua - setting up memorial stones at Gilgal so that Israel would always remember that God dried up the ground for them to cross over the Jordan.

I'm not sure what this looks like yet, but as we set up our new home, I want to set up reminders of God's goodness for us and future generations.

3) Consciously unfollowing people and limiting social media consumption

The internet is a wonderful invention, and I'm obviously grateful to make my living off it. But like anything, it has its downsides.

Going into 2023, I want to be conscious of WHY I'm using social media (normally to learn something new). And if a specific app, site, or person consistently causes me to feel envious or impacts me negatively - I will simply unfollow.

One of my goals this year is to place time limits on my use of IG, Twitter, and Facebook. I want to use social media to learn and be inspired, while limiting procrastination, mindless scrolling, and envy.

How about you? Have you struggled with envy this year? Any tips you'd like to share?

Hit reply, I'd love to hear from you.

Hope you have a great week as we inch closer to 2023!

Nick & Hanna

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